September 10, 1976

 

147 Humboldt Ave.

San Anselmo, CA 94960

September 10, 1976

Dear Mansur, Beloved One of Allah,

We are going through the yearly fall heat wave. But today it is overcast so far, so it’s a little cooler. Fazl [Terry Peay] is out watering the garden (mostly the flowers and shrubbery because we don’t have enough help to put into vegetables), which he does three times a week. All in all, it feels like kind of a slow day.

My secretary and I plan to visit Pir Dahan [the rock Hazrat Inayat Khan blessed] over in Fairfax in about an hour. She generally drives me to dialysis a couple of days each week and we have started going to the Rock en route. My visits to the Rock have become more frequent as a result of a flash received recently when our household went to Mount Shasta for its second annual vacation. The message was to go to the Rock on a more or less frequent basis and chant the healing phrase. It feels real good. It has always felt real good.

Sometimes, Mansur, when I consider our ‘meager beginnings’ I think of me as a bartender and of you trying to fix that old woman’s front porch in Iowa City. At other times I think of other things, any number of which would apply to me, but another one of you I really remember is that time you landed a job working on the asphalt crew and it got so hot that you lasted less than half a day before fainting. Also, do you remember that time on the golf course? [No, I don’t, unless he’s talking about one of our psilocybin adventures.]

Well, now the shoe’s on the other foot for a while. I’m real glad to hear about the ocean breezes and the general urouj feeling of your new khankah. At this point in my life I don’t know exactly what is happening. Initial reports show that a sibling transplant is unlikely. Dialysis is at best what I consider temporary, although it may be of longer duration than I had originally envisioned. I seem to be on a cycle of seeing healers now; hope, inshallah, to come across a real good one soon. On the other hand, one is trying to face (not very well, I’m afraid) the lesson which is being indicated. Anyhow, at times it feels like a gamut and at other times it feels like a spectrum. So much for the ups, and downs, and ups…

One of the real hard pills for me to swallow is a general lack of energy to put into the family scene. I find myself unconsciously getting impatient and loud with the wife and kids when I really don’t want to. This is what happens when one loses touch with one’s peacefulness unawares. But I’m doing okay I suppose for being on dialysis—which the doctor says makes people feel like that.

I can see you swinging to and fro on the scaffolding! I hope, inshallah, to visit you in Hull when I am in better shape. My love to Ayesha, Ananda, Qayyum, Kirpal Krishna, and you sir.

Love and blessings,

Moineddin and family