April 19, 1979

Noor Mahal

April 19, 1979

My Dear Mansur,

As-salaam aleikhum!

Thank you sincerely for your heartfelt letters of March 30 and April 8. There will be no metaphysics, I promise you. But there may be some poetry. You say, “I don’t want to lose you, my friend.” My own mother, God bless her, told me at Christmas time that she positively was not going to let me die. I do not know what is gained through ignorance of the operations of the divine Will—yet naturally one would expect such an attitude from one’s mother.

As far as losing a friend goes, Hazrat Inayat Khan quotes Quran regarding the passing of his own beloved Murshid: “Death is a bridge which unites friend with friend unto the Beyond.” (Confessions, p. 149).

Why, when our own Murshid passed it was as if he became more like God—‘hearer than breathing, closer than hands and feet.’ And his own teachings inFana-fi-Sheikh, his final creative effort finished two weeks before his fall down the stairs, emphasize the possibilities which subsist in the stage he termed fana-fi-Pir. (see lesson 61). This is not ‘metaphysics,’ but it is tassawuf.

Your resumption of healings is a matter of indifference to me—but this is not to say I am not appreciative. I have been seeing a chiropractor twice a month for two years; I had acupuncture twice a week for six months; I have seen all manner of healers; and the only living relative whose tissue-type would have been a compatible match was my sister, and she is out of the question due to her own quite severe physical problems. For the anemia I receive 20 cc of Imferon, a potent form of liquid iron, intravenously every six months—besides taking a super-vitamin continuing much stronger amounts of iron than Geritol every day.

As to the bone dystrophy [dystrophy is defined as any abnormal condition caused by inadequate nutrition], I don’t know either, nor do the doctors. Yet, the bone dystrophy is one of the ‘barometers’ that inform one’ intuition regarding the onset of transition from this world. It is not the only barometer; but some careful meditation would reveal other undeniable signals: there is need for growth in and toward realization on the part of mureeds, a fact which is not necessarily helped by my sticking around. (Murshid’s own death was to this purpose, as also the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and many other spiritual teachers—nor do I place my person in this category, though Allah may place one’s soul in this category, inshallah.)

There are many other signs, but to go into them would require entering into an exalted state in order to withstand the natural stresses and rippings the human personality as such is subject to. You have been through some of these yourself, and you are to be commended for having faced them directly in your own heart. At the same time, it is one’s all-consuming work at this time to maintain the higher outlook, for in the higher outlook one finds the purest ecstasy—which is to say one discovers the plan and will of God operating fully.

I’ll bring your Jack Kramer tennis racquet with me to Lama Foundation. My dates for the southwest are May 12 through 18 at Shirin’s in Santa Fe, and May 19 at Lama. I’ll stay overnight in the Maqbara Hut and drive back to Santa Fe Sunday morning the 20th, then drive to Albuquerque in the afternoon and catch a plane back to San Francisco.

I forgot to mention that I have also tried numerous types of saunas, at Hakim Saul’s suggestion. As you know, the skin has been called ‘the third kidney.’ But despite attempts with either the wet or dry types of heat, mhy condition somehow permits me to bake without relinquishing a single drop of seat. It was frustrating at first, but now I am philosophic.

Again, your letters have moved me very much, and I hope this response shows in some small way the extent to which you have touched me.

All love and blessings to you and yours,